I debated telling this story, but...  WTF, why not.    I havent had a drink since November 5th 2020. Now, as some of you might know, I do enjoy the occasional beverage or 36.  But what happened that night... well... It was the night of my wifes birthday.  Due to covid, we had a "small" gathering at our house around the pool. We live in S. Florida, so still about 183 degrees outside in early November.

Anyways..  I started drinking around 10am. Mind you, this was a Thursday and most people werent coming over until around 6, and then had to work the next day. But not this guy... Around 430pm I fired up the grill, as I sipped on Crown n Coke #5 or 6. If you have ever tailgated with me, or anything like that, I pour VERY heavy. Like... 6oz Crown/1oz Coke.  So when I say im on drink 5 or 6, im about to move onto bottle #2.   Im feeling good. Wife is enjoying the pool, and then her mom is the first to arrive. **Side note** My wifes mom is only 51. My wife is 34.**  I am 42 for those curious. 

So like I was saying. my wife was in the pool. Her mom just arrived. I suggested her mom to go swimming, and she responded by telling me she didnt bring her suite. In my infinite stupidity, I told her to just go in her panties and dont worry about a top...

Now, my wifes mom isnt bad looking at all. My wife did not hear this exchange.  Her mom's eyes responded to my likely .16% bac response to her with pure fire. I thought I was dead where I stood. She said not a word. Then a knock at the door.. Thank god, a few friends showed up just then. 

So the next few hours felt like days. I was trashed. I knew I said something I shouldnt have. I didnt know if the mother in law said anything to the wife. Wife acted normal. Mother in law didnt say a word to me all night.  I felt a storm brewing but wasnt sure where it was coming from..

End of the night comes, and by now I am on crown and coke #??  double digits somewhere, along with a few shots here and there. Everyone leaves, wife is in the shower, mother in law and MY mom are in the living room talking.  I was kinda hiding in the theater room not sure if I should try to extinguish the flames while drunk, or just pass out in the theater and live to fight another day.

Guess what I did....

Yep, I went to fight the brave fight. Drink in hand.  F it.  So I go out in the living room and my mom is saying her goodbyes, yelling bye to my wife whos still in the shower. My mom leaves. So here I am. Drunk as F,  Wife in shower. Mother in law sitting on the couch across from me. She looks right at me and says "I cannot believe you suggest I swim naked in front of your friends and family, if it was ONLY you and {insert wifes name here}, then maybe but not everyone. 

jaw. hits. floor.

WHAT?!? She then just smiles at me and says she noticed me checking her boobs out before!  WTF. Is she F'ing with me? Whats happening here? 

Wife comes out and we say our goodbyes to her mom.  I dont say a word to the wife. This is my hell. 9 weeks later and 0 drinks for this guy.  Not that I planned to go sober, but I just havent had the urge to drink since then. I have only seen the wifes mom once since then for Christmas and she acted as if nothing happened. Wife has never said anything.

So what says you guys? Is she messing with me? Is wife in on it? Was it a ploy to get me to stop drinking? Does mother in law want this D?  I know I know I know.. "pics of mother in law"  Maybe... in time. 

2 minutes ago, Toty said:

You're on the verge of pleasures of which most men dare not dream

pull this off and you are the legend to end all legends 

 

 

also... where in S. Fl, cuz... um... 

If I was single, id smash without thinking about it. But cmon.. wifes mom. No go.

SW FL. 

Just now, Toty said:

I was talking about scoring the double

Nah not with her mom. Now her cousin........................

12 minutes ago, What The F said:

My wifes mom is only 51.

Pics

12 minutes ago, What The F said:

My wife is 34.

Pics of her too

14 minutes ago, What The F said:

says she noticed me checking her boobs out before!

Boob pics!!!!

3 minutes ago, What The F said:

Nah not with her mom. Now her cousin........................

Pics of cousin too

I saw this movie.  Then I got a virus warning.

Mother in law

 

Cousin

 

There is no wrong answer that will be given to you in this thread. 

Good lawd, the cousin

 

57 minutes ago, What The F said:

Mother in law

 

Cousin

 

Gotta see the wife too now. Damn f them both. 

24 minutes ago, 20dawk4life said:

Gotta see the wife too now. Damn f them both. 

Wife is somewhere between those 2.

If your MIL does end up swimming naked in the pool please post pics in this thread.

K Thx Bai

Damn, the cousin is hawt.  Bet you have to focus to be on good behaviour when she's around.  I'd have to keep reminding myself to not look at her body.  The MIL is pretty decent for 51.  So she was only 17 when she gave birth to your wife.  I don't get the impression she's a buttoned down type of mom.  I think she's F'ing with you and having some fun doing it.  She noticed you were drunk, said something out of bounds and decided to totally screw with your head.  Act like you have no recollection of the event, which is believable to her since you were hammered at the time.  But, if you do start drinking again, you should not pour heavy handed if that cousin is going to be around.  And if she comes over and goes swimming you need to take and post pics of her in a bikini.

 

I am not sure what to post in this thread.

Ummmmmm congrats on some sobriety? And whomever you posted pics of...very nice! 

The guy answer would be to go for it.  But in all seriousness, if you did go for it, I bet this turns out to be another Florida Man story that makes the news.

6 hours ago, What The F said:

Nah not with her mom. Now her cousin........................

@goodgooglymoogy

Pretty sure that's the guy who cheated on his hot girlfriend with his psycho hot cousin.

21 minutes ago, xzmattzx said:

I bet this turns out to be another Florida Man story that makes the news.

God I can only hope

 

3 hours ago, Green_Guinness said:

The MIL is pretty decent for 51.  So she was only 17 when she gave birth to your wife.  I don't get the impression she's a buttoned down type of mom.  I think she's F'ing with you and having some fun doing it.  She noticed you were drunk, said something out of bounds and decided to totally screw with your head.  Act like you have no recollection of the event, which is believable to her since you were hammered at the time.  

This ^^

41 minutes ago, rambo said:

@goodgooglymoogy

 

38 minutes ago, rambo said:

Pretty sure that's the guy who cheated on his hot girlfriend with his psycho hot cousin.

The tragic tale of what happens when you get too greedy.

 

I gave this thread 5 stars.  These are the kind of stories we had back in the day.  Well done Mr. WTF.  The mom was definitely Fin with your drunk ass, but also being a little flirty about it.  And she's hot.   I like her!  She could have been a c and ruined the party but instead she ambushed you.  I'm giving her the win for that day.

9 hours ago, Redden said:

I gave this thread 5 stars.  These are the kind of stories we had back in the day.  Well done Mr. WTF.  The mom was definitely Fin with your drunk ass, but also being a little flirty about it.  And she's hot.   I like her!  She could have been a c and ruined the party but instead she ambushed you.  I'm giving her the win for that day.

Except back in the day the OP would most likely not have stopped drinking after the first incident, and we would have gotten some sort of follow-up post to the story.  And the thread would have ended up being 80-100 pages long.   Lol

Ah, the good old days.

#whatcouldgowrong
#yesheismycousinofficeridonotknowwhatgotintohim
#metoo
#halfyoursh**

Well my M.I.L. is 82 so just imagine that next time and you'll be fine. 

8 hours ago, Dave Moss said:

Except back in the day the OP would most likely not have stopped drinking after the first incident, and we would have gotten some sort of follow-up post to the story.  And the thread would end up being 80-100 pages long.   Lol

He would have done 50 jello shots while posting.