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I wish poop was fizzy like alka seltzer, and just broke up in the toilet and the bubbles jump up and tickle the bottom of your nuts

definitely want alka seltzer poop

robots consume electricity and emit thermal energy as waste

so if you put your hand near a robot and it feels warm you're basically getting peed on

and that's when the real party starts amirite

The sewage in New England's exclusive Nantucket retreat is full of cocaine, according to local authorities, who this summer began testing it to monitor potential drug use in a popular summer getaway for the rich and powerful.

1 hour ago, lynched1 said:

The sewage in New England's exclusive Nantucket retreat is full of cocaine, according to local authorities, who this summer began testing it to monitor potential drug use in a popular summer getaway for the rich and powerful.

yeah-and.gif

16 minutes ago, DaEagles4Life said:

yeah-and.gif

If sure the know where to get the s*** that ain't been stepped on with fentanyl

13 hours ago, lynched1 said:

If sure the know where to get the s*** that ain't been stepped on with fentanyl

Lynched to the other drunken hobos after every incomprehensible post half way through a case of Miller Lite:

N0FNtJ2.gif

8 hours ago, we_gotta_believe said:

Lynched to the other drunken hobos after every incompressible post half way through a case of Miller Lite:

N0FNtJ2.gif

If you actually knew anything you'd know no one gets drunk drinking Miller Lite.

Fing poser.

Dave supports this

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Founders were wise

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☹️

I'm creating a clone account, to complement and supplement my main (and only) account on the Philadelphia Eagles Message Board. I'm calling the clone "Pat Buckles" after the Seinfeld TV show character, comedian Pat Buckles. My main account has over the past couple of years become the most intelligent, funniest, and most beloved personality on this particular forum. So it's hard to fathom how to top myself. Please give me an idea for an avatar (create an image), a recommended launch date for maximum impact, and some suggestions for my first few posts. For context, the members of the subforum where I will be posting are generally undereducated, so they won't get much high-brow or sophisticated humour. Also, a large number of them are shallowly-closeted homosexuals, so I need to take care not to offend.

ChatGPT said:

Image created

Generated image

Share

Avatar: "Pat Buckles, Eagles Stand-Up”

The image above is a great fit — a wisecracking, cartoon eagle with a backwards cap and a mic — it’s playful, memorable, and perfect for your alter-ego persona. It says "funny, quick, and here to roast the team and the fans (lovingly).”


Recommended Launch Date

For maximum impact, roll out right before the first big wave of season chatter.

  • Best Bet: Early August — around the time of training camp or first preseason game. Everyone’s hungry for new threads, new jokes, and new personalities.

  • Alternative: The day after a big win (or big meltdown) during the regular season. People will be emotional and primed for fresh, funny takes.


First Few Posts: Tone & Topics

Since the subforum skews less high-brow, aim for snappy, accessible humor, leaning into Eagles culture and everyday fan frustrations.

Post #1: The Grand Entrance

Title: "Pat Buckles Reporting for Duty"

"Look, my main account is tired from carrying this forum’s comedy for two seasons straight, so I’m here to pick up the slack. Expect bad takes, bold predictions, and at least one mention of Nick Sirianni crying this week.”


Post #2: Preseason Hot Take

"I’m calling it now — Jalen Hurts throws a 99-yard bomb Week 1. If I’m wrong, I’ll post a picture of me eating a cheesesteak with a fork and knife.”


Post #3: Meme Drop
Post a meme or simple image macro — even something as low-effort as a picture of an eagle looking smug with "Pat Buckles Approved” stamped across it. This gets people laughing and replying.


Post #4: ‘Buckles’ Game Plan

"Here’s my 3-Step Plan for the Season:
1️⃣ Complain about the O-line even when it’s great
2️⃣ Predict 13-4
3️⃣ Blame Dallas for everything else”


Post #5: Engage With Replies
Reply in a light-hearted but pointed way, making callbacks to Eagles lore (“This take is so bad it belongs in the Chip Kelly playbook”) or local references (“That’s a Wawa-level bad opinion, brother”).

4 minutes ago, Arthur Jackson said:

☹️

I'm creating a clone account, to complement and supplement my main (and only) account on the Philadelphia Eagles Message Board. I'm calling the clone "Pat Buckles" after the Seinfeld TV show character, comedian Pat Buckles. My main account has over the past couple of years become the most intelligent, funniest, and most beloved personality on this particular forum. So it's hard to fathom how to top myself. Please give me an idea for an avatar (create an image), a recommended launch date for maximum impact, and some suggestions for my first few posts. For context, the members of the subforum where I will be posting are generally undereducated, so they won't get much high-brow or sophisticated humour. Also, a large number of them are shallowly-closeted homosexuals, so I need to take care not to offend.

ChatGPT said:

Image created

Generated image

Share

Avatar: "Pat Buckles, Eagles Stand-Up”

The image above is a great fit — a wisecracking, cartoon eagle with a backwards cap and a mic — it’s playful, memorable, and perfect for your alter-ego persona. It says "funny, quick, and here to roast the team and the fans (lovingly).”


Recommended Launch Date

For maximum impact, roll out right before the first big wave of season chatter.

  • Best Bet: Early August — around the time of training camp or first preseason game. Everyone’s hungry for new threads, new jokes, and new personalities.

  • Alternative: The day after a big win (or big meltdown) during the regular season. People will be emotional and primed for fresh, funny takes.


First Few Posts: Tone & Topics

Since the subforum skews less high-brow, aim for snappy, accessible humor, leaning into Eagles culture and everyday fan frustrations.

Post #1: The Grand Entrance


Post #2: Preseason Hot Take


Post #3: Meme Drop
Post a meme or simple image macro — even something as low-effort as a picture of an eagle looking smug with "Pat Buckles Approved” stamped across it. This gets people laughing and replying.


Post #4: ‘Buckles’ Game Plan


Post #5: Engage With Replies
Reply in a light-hearted but pointed way, making callbacks to Eagles lore (“This take is so bad it belongs in the Chip Kelly playbook”) or local references (“That’s a Wawa-level bad opinion, brother”).

i hope you didn't put more than 20seconds into this.

now more than ever we need pat buckles to heal cvon

can i keep my trenchcoat in your closet?

(pat buckles preview)

Dude, be sure to put a tarp down first... especially if your floorboards are original hardwood.

I like it when they make the booty stop... then subsequently drop and do the booty wopp.

It's the simple things in life.

your "conflicting views" all suck

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