I used to make fun of decaf coffee drinkers and then I stopped being able to go to bed at night 

it shouldn't even exist as a thing

last time i got my first period is the first time i drank decaf. 

The exact same time I started drinking non-alcoholic beer, and eating impossible meat.

Right after my sex change. 

 I haven't started drinking coffee  

Never as i am a guy

in @OCEaglefan's defense, I can't even drink a green tea after 3 pm if i want to sleep at a decent hour

Never

Never have. I started drinking real coffee when I was in the Army, I was probably 20 at the time. (The story is below for anyone interested, hidden for those who aren't...)

Spoiler

We were out in the field for 2 weeks (Probably in Lometa Texas). It was cold and rainy and I was tasked with some detail that required me to work with the 1st Sergeant,  our company XO (a 1st Lt) and some of the other NCO's. I forget what it was we were doing, but it started around 4 am-ish, so dark, cold and rainy and I was the lowest ranking and youngest soldier there (I was a PFC at the time).

We were the battalion HHC (Headquarters and Headquarters Company) so we were close to and had access to an MKT (mobile kitchen trailer) and normally, the mess hall would have a big container of coffee and another of hot chocolate available for us to take with us on early morning details. Being that this particular detail was all Sr. NCO's and a Lieutenant (E6 and above) and me, the 1st Sergeant only asked the Mess Hall to prepare a big container of coffee... and nothing else. No sugar packets, no creamer/milk. Just black Army coffee. 

When I asked if there was hot chocolate, the reply from the 1st Sergeant was... "No, we're all adults here. Suck it up and drink coffee." Or words to that effect. When I asked if there was cream and/or sugar, all I got in reply was a bit of a stern look as if to say "Didn't you hear what I just said, we're all adults here, drink it and be happy you have it!" lol

I drank multiple cups of it, which was really bad, seeing as I'd never really drank coffee before that, but it warmed me up (and woke me up) and that was all I cared about at that moment. That was somewhere around November-ish of 1989. 

I remember later having CQ duty in the company HQ (which meant staying awake all night in case of emergencies or whatever, which meant having to be awake for more than 24 hours that day), and drinking a lot of coffee to stay awake... in fact, that night the Eagles played the Saints on MNF and I brought my 19" TV from my room to the office so I could watch the game (so that would have been December 18th 1989... the Eagles lost ), in the morning when the 1st Sergeant came in for work and saw me drinking coffee, he laughed a little and teased me for having become a 'convert' lol. 

I've been drinking it ever since.

Found my old brigade on Facebook and have been down that rabbit hole for a couple of days now... but just saw this and thought it was appropriate to post here lol.

 

i still havent figured out why decaf coffee is a thing. cant sleep if you drink coffee in the afternoon? dont drink coffee in the afternoon. its like non alcoholic beer. you drink it for the effects, not the taste. just replace alcohol with coffee in this clip....