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How many Microsoft designers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None – they just define darkness as "industry standard”

On 7/10/2020 at 9:48 PM, NCTANK said:

me Chinese 

me play joke

me put pee pee

in your Coke

Me american 

me am smart

me take out the peepee part

41 minutes ago, 20dawk4life said:

Me american 

me am smart

me take out the peepee part

Disqualified GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke.

There’s no place like 127.0.0.1

 

 

(Assuming nerd humor is considered highbrow)

A mathematician and an engineer both took part in an experiment.

They were placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked lady.

The experimenter told them that every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman.

The mathematician stormed off, but the engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway.

On his way out, the mathematician exclaimed, "Don’t you see you’ll never actually reach her.”

"So what?”, replied the engineer, "Pretty soon I’ll be close enough for all practical purposes.”

Why are quantum physicists terrible in bed?

Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position.

8 hours ago, paco said:

There’s no place like 127.0.0.1

 

 

(Assuming nerd humor is considered highbrow)

I'm a nerd, but more of the fantasy baseball variety. 

I will go out on a yuge limb and guess that 127.0.0.1 is some network/IP address for "home"? What do I win?!

1 minute ago, Dawkins 20 said:

I'm a nerd, but more of the fantasy baseball variety. 

I will go out on a yuge limb and guess that 127.0.0.1 is some network/IP address for "home"? What do I win?!

tenor.gif

localhost, but yeah, home

  • 3 weeks later...

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2 hours ago, paco said:

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Almost barked at this one.:blink:

Good one in conditioning it!

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A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: "Euripides?" The professor replies: "Yes. Eumenides?"

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I actually got that joke.

13 hours ago, Toty said:

A family goes into a talent agency to promote their act in hopes of landing a contract.

DO NOT OPEN!!!

  Hide contents

Just kidding. I can't. I wish I could but I don't want to get benned.

DO NOT OPEN!!!

Stunned, the agent manages to say, "That's an... uh... interesting act. What do you call it?"

The father replies enthusiastically, "The Aristocrats!"

The mods here are pretty reasonable. They typically don’t bend people. 
 

 

 

 

 

:whistle:

  • 3 months later...

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Time Travel hopefully will be a reality there!

Time travel is coming. You just have to wait.

A Higgs boson walks into a church.

The priest says, "Get out, you blasphemer. How dare you call yourself the ‘God particle’?”

The Higgs boson replies: "But I make up the mass.”

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