3 minutes ago, Redden said:

They are going to microchip my dick because they are tired of me banging all your moms.

I mean, I know the technology has come a long way, but do they really make microchips that small yet ??

Touche.

 

1 hour ago, downundermike said:

I mean, I know the technology has come a long way, but do they really make microchips that small yet ??

They must have since our vaccines were microchipped.

 

 

My conspiracy theory is that all conspiracy theorists are part of a central orchestrated network and effort to create white noise and distraction around the real conspiracies.  

On 1/26/2023 at 2:30 PM, Shepard Wong said:

I assume they don’t go clean shaven so you can tell the vag from a roll by touch in the dark.

Can’t have this:  "Are you excited or just kinda sweaty?”

Oddly enough, clean shaven.  And I've been with a lot of fat chicks.

10 hours ago, Redden said:

Oddly enough, clean shaven.  And I've been with a lot of fat chicks.

So would you shave them or do they handle it themselves with a razor and a few creatively placed mirrors?

13 hours ago, eagle45 said:

My conspiracy theory is that all conspiracy theorists are part of a central orchestrated network and effort to create white noise and distraction around the real conspiracies.  

I like to picture my conspiracies as playing lead guitar for Lynyrd Skynyrd with great big angel wings, and I'm in the front row, hammered drunk

@EagleVA is a lizard person and posts crazy conspiracy nonsense along with stating that there are in fact lizard people to make people reflexively dismiss the fact there are lizard people.

55 minutes ago, paco said:

@EagleVA is a lizard person and posts crazy conspiracy nonsense along with stating that there are in fact lizard people to make people reflexively dismiss the fact there are lizard people.

1:49

5 hours ago, Shepard Wong said:

So would you shave them or do they handle it themselves with a razor and a few creatively placed mirrors?

They weren’t obese, just very very curvy.

So yeah, I shaved them down. 

I think I may be the only consciousness in the universe.

Let me explain.

I submit that I am the only conscious entity in the universe - the universe being defined as all that exists within my perceptible realm. So all that originally existed in that universe was an infinite void and a single consciousness that I propose is myself.

Whether I came into existence from a singularity, was conjured by some greater entity or entities that exist outside the closed system, or if I have a perpetual existence is something I don't know. Now, you might naturally ask how I wouldn't know that for certain if I were all that inhabited this expanse.

Well, that's where things get interesting. You see, if there were nothing but my consciousness and the void, existence would be intolerably trivial and mundane, so I would have been forced to create constructs to amuse and occupy myself.

Initially,I would start with something simple, like a pint of gin, a unicycle, or a sticky, dog-eared copy of Barely More than Adequately Legal from April 1996. But these things remain droll for only so long. So I would need something more dynamic and unpredictable - something with movement and change.

So I would program (probably with Logo or ForTran 77) a complex set of constraints that govern matter and energy and apply them to a world designed to eventually produce a society of simulated conscious creatures through a gradual process of symbiotic mineralogical and biological evolution. Then, I could place myself at any location or time within this construct and interact with the inhabitants in their form, thus learning about life, love, and corn.

Perhaps at one point I was a Count of St. Germain, or a Conor Macleod type, or something more humble like a sommelier. I could have experienced world as a chinchilla, a narwhal, or one of Amber Heard's crab lice. I could have been a fan for better sports franchises like the Tottenham Spurs or Toronto Argonauts. I could have even have created other alien civilizations and repeated the process over again.

The problem with this scenario is that it too would become tiresome after a fashion. If I know that I am the overarching force with control over the whole system, there is little I could gain from the experience. Everything would be coloured by my awareness of my ultimate superiority.

What would make more sense would be to build in a process whereby I begin a simulated existence with NO knowledge or memory of my prior self or interactions. As part of this process, when my terrestrial body dies I revert to my singular consciousness with memory of my experience which gets added to all those prior. This way, I can repeat the process indefinitely without contaminating my temporary consciousness with extraneous knowledge.

I'm pretty sure I'm engaged in one of these sorties now.

So, I'm sorry to say, though you all may feel conscious, you are, in point of fact, highly complex non-player-characters that exist within a computational substrate composed of sub-quantum computational elements of my own design.

In effect - you're Riker's Minuet.

You're Vic Fontaine - now sing me a song you c@&#-juggling thunder-c%@#$

On 1/30/2023 at 6:52 PM, Redden said:

They are going to microchip my dick because they are tired of me banging all your moms.

For the rest of us it’s a full sized chip, microdeek 

2 hours ago, Arthur Jackson said:

I think I may be the only consciousness in the universe.

Let me explain.

I submit that I am the only conscious entity in the universe - the universe being defined as all that exists within my perceptible realm. So all that originally existed in that universe was an infinite void and a single consciousness that I propose is myself.

Whether I came into existence from a singularity, was conjured by some greater entity or entities that exist outside the closed system, or if I have a perpetual existence is something I don't know. Now, you might naturally ask how I wouldn't know that for certain if I were all that inhabited this expanse.

Well, that's where things get interesting. You see, if there were nothing but my consciousness and the void, existence would be intolerably trivial and mundane, so I would have been forced to create constructs to amuse and occupy myself.

Initially,I would start with something simple, like a pint of gin, a unicycle, or a sticky, dog-eared copy of Barely Legal from April 1996. But these things remain droll for only so long. So I would something more dynamic and unpredictable - something with movement and change.

So I would program (probably with Logo or ForTran 77) a complex set of constraints that govern matter and energy and apply them to a world designed to eventually produce a society of simulated conscious creatures through a gradual process of symbiotic mineralogical and biological evolution. Then, I could place myself at any location or time within this construct and interact with the inhabitants in their form, thus learning about life, love, and corn.

Perhaps at one point I was a Count of St. Germain, or a Conor Macleod type, or something more humble like a sommelier. I could have experienced world as a chinchilla, a narwhal, or one of Amber Heard's crab lice. I could have been a fan for better sports franchises like the Tottenham Spurs or Toronto Argonauts. I could have even have created other alien civilizations and repeated the process over again.

The problem with this scenario is that it too would become tiresome after a fashion. If I know that I am the overarching force with control over the whole system, there is little I could gain from the experience. Everything would be coloured by my awareness of my ultimate superiority.

What would make more sense would be to build in a process whereby I begin a simulated existence with knowledge or memory of my prior self or interactions. As part of this process, when my terrestrial body dies I revert to my singular consciousness with memory of my experience which gets added to all those prior. This way, I can repeat the process indefinitely without contaminating my temporary consciousness with extraneous knowledge.

I'm pretty sure I'm engaged in one of these sorties now.

So, I'm sorry to say, though you all may feel conscious, you are, in point of fact, highly complex non-player-characters that exist within a computational substrate composed of sub-quantum computational elements of my own design.

In effect - you're Riker's Minuet.

You're Vic Fontaine - now sing me a song you c@&#-juggling thunder-c%@#$

That’s crazy!  Me to!

@Redden you seem confused... should I go into further detail for clarification?

4 minutes ago, Arthur Jackson said:

@Redden you seem confused... should I go into further detail for clarification?

The Chiefs Bengals game wasn't fixed.

 

The Denver International Airport is Illuminati’s headquarters.

The Illuminati leads to a conspiracy rabbit hole that we’re not going to delve too far into—except when it comes to the Denver International Airport. Many Illuminati believers are convinced it’s the secret group’s headquarters. The airport has embraced the rumors by poking fun at it, but that hasn’t stopped people from believing secret tunnels and lizard lairs lurk beneath the building.

 

10 hours ago, Toastrel said:

The Denver International Airport is Illuminati’s headquarters.

The Illuminati leads to a conspiracy rabbit hole that we’re not going to delve too far into—except when it comes to the Denver International Airport. Many Illuminati believers are convinced it’s the secret group’s headquarters. The airport has embraced the rumors by poking fun at it, but that hasn’t stopped people from believing secret tunnels and lizard lairs lurk beneath the building.

 

Boo your links.

On 1/31/2023 at 3:30 PM, Redden said:

They weren’t obese, just very very curvy.

So yeah, I shaved them down. 

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/bf69ebc5-33c2-4f42-82ed-c02b629f9a2f

I hear tell from the chillen that Lincoln was really a black man.

1 hour ago, EaglesRocker97 said:

I hear tell from the chillen that Lincoln was really a black man.

Remember the old episode of Gimme a Break when the daughter went to Nell Carter's house or her family's house and there was a painting of a black Jesus on the wall and the daughter asked if Fotomat gave them a negative?

The nba draft is rigged