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7 minutes ago, barho said:

Kids are smarter than you think at seeing through the BS.

LOL - no they aren't. Kids are morons. And this current generation doesn't improve when they become adults. 

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35 minutes ago, we_gotta_believe said:

When did you first let them have social media access? We just gave our daughter a phone with internet, but blocked all social media sites. We're thinking of waiting until she's at least 16 before allowing all that (currently just started 6th grade so she'll be waiting for a while still.)

Honestly it depends on the kid. In general I think 16 is reasonable, but I'd be very wary of some of the fear mongering around social media and kids nowadays with guys like Jonathan Haidt who make pretty broad claims with very weak data regarding the impact of social media/phones on teen mental health. Making claims like "most predators  out there have been locked away so now they're all online" is just such an ignorant thing for a "researcher" to state out loud it's embarrassing. 

With my oldest I turned her screen time off every night until she turned 18 lol.  She got so mad about it, but she would stay up all night on her phone if I didn’t.

1 hour ago, Dave Moss said:

Parenting in the Information Age is tough.  I have two teen-agers.  They see all kinds of stupid stuff on Tik Tok.  I know, don’t get them phones right?   Not really realistic in 2024 imho

Get the kids a flip-phone.

1 minute ago, toolg said:

Get the kids a flip-phone.

I mean, I get it.  But I think smart phones are super useful.  My 15 year-old just got her learner’s permit.  She tracks her driving hours on an app and uses her phone’s navigation instead of me yelling, "turn right!  No, your other right!”  Anyway…

My son was in kindergarten last year, one of his classmates had a smart phone.   They were on a field trip, and the kid was playing games on the bus ride.  Of course, when my son gets home, he tells us that <insert name> has a phone and wants to know if he can have one too.    Ummmmm helllllll no.  

So then he asks when he's going to be able to have a phone, to which the answer was you can have a phone when you're going to be old enough to be somewhere on your own without us, and you will need to be able to call us to come pick you up.  And that's what your phone will be used for, no games, no internet, strictly to call mom and dad to come pick you up. 

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1 hour ago, DEagle7 said:

Honestly it depends on the kid. In general I think 16 is reasonable, but I'd be very wary of some of the fear mongering around social media and kids nowadays with guys like Jonathan Haidt who make pretty broad claims with very weak data regarding the impact of social media/phones on teen mental health.

It is early days but the data certainly shows a spike in mental health problems for teens and the timing very much coincides with the timelines for the emergence of social media.  Might be something else of course but it is reasonable to suspect that social media may be contributing significantly and to then study it.

Stretching the message with the fear mongering isn't a reasonable thing to do though.  That feels more like an attempt at the proverbial clickbait.

2 hours ago, JohnSnowsHair said:

hey, I resent that :angry:

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Im around the X/Y cut off point. 

1 hour ago, DEagle7 said:

Honestly it depends on the kid. In general I think 16 is reasonable, but I'd be very wary of some of the fear mongering around social media and kids nowadays with guys like Jonathan Haidt who make pretty broad claims with very weak data regarding the impact of social media/phones on teen mental health. Making claims like "most predators  out there have been locked away so now they're all online" is just such an ignorant thing for a "researcher" to state out loud it's embarrassing. 

I'm not really worried about her being catfished or targeted. My concerns are almost entirely on how damaging apps like instagram and tiktok are to their psyche when they see all these influencers try to one up each other for attention and notoriety. Feels like it would only be a matter of time until she thinks that's how you're supposed to portray yourself, despite us trying to tell her how superficial or unfulfilling that is. She already has a "skin care routine" because of videoes she watches on youtube when she's with her friends. I just roll my eyes and make jokes about how she's trying to recapture her youthful appearance from when she was 8.

Our almost 14 year old boy got one on his 12th birthday.  So he's had one for 2 years.  He looks at Tik Tok every once in a while but he's not really on any social media sites and doesn't care about it so it really doesn't worry me that much.  Most of what he does on there is just text groups with all his friends.  Our almost 9 year old girl has been asking when she's getting a phone for a few years now and since we got her brother one at 12 I guess 12 is when she'll get one.  But with a girl I'm way more worried.  Social media ruins girls in a way it doesn't boys.

52 minutes ago, DrPhilly said:

It is early days but the data certainly shows a spike in mental health problems for teens and the timing very much coincides with the timelines for the emergence of social media.  Might be something else of course but it is reasonable to suspect that social media may be contributing significantly and to then study it.

Stretching the message with the fear mongering isn't a reasonable thing to do though.  That feels more like an attempt at the proverbial clickbait.

There has been a lot of studies into it though, and the data is really mixed. Which is why I say it kind of depends on the kid. 

A good listen of you get the chance. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't like social media. And I think it can absolutely be harmful, along with phones, to a young developing mind. But I don't see many universal truths as far as guidelines for kids that are super data driven. 

7 minutes ago, DEagle7 said:

There has been a lot of studies into it though, and the data is really mixed. Which is why I say it kind of depends on the kid. 

A good listen of you get the chance. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't like social media. And I think it can absolutely be harmful, along with phones, to a young developing mind. But I don't see many universal truths as far as guidelines for kids that are super data driven. 

Yeah that's the struggle, a dearth of quality studies plus uncertainties on a technology that we (as parents) don't have first-hand experience with when we were growiing up usually results in a more cautious approach. My uncle convinced my mom that video games were rotting my brain and I was spending too much time tinkering with my computer every day. Fast forward 30+ years and I credit my interest in those two subjects at such a young age with where I am in my career today. There weren't any studies on it then, but now there are quite a bit that actually show video games can be hugely beneficial in sharpening cognitive ability, developing decision making strategies, regulation of mood/mental health, etc. 

Now, I highly doubt we're gonna be finding out that instagram actually has benefits to that degree, but it could turn out to be not as harmful as initially suspected. Still going to tread cautiously for now until we have a chance to read up on it and talk it over more.

44 minutes ago, we_gotta_believe said:

Yeah that's the struggle, a dearth of quality studies plus uncertainties on a technology that we (as parents) don't have first-hand experience with when we were growiing up usually results in a more cautious approach. My uncle convinced my mom that video games were rotting my brain and I was spending too much time tinkering with my computer every day. Fast forward 30+ years and I credit my interest in those two subjects at such a young age with where I am in my career today. There weren't any studies on it then, but now there are quite a bit that actually show video games can be hugely beneficial in sharpening cognitive ability, developing decision making strategies, regulation of mood/mental health, etc. 

Now, I highly doubt we're gonna be finding out that instagram actually has benefits to that degree, but it could turn out to be not as harmful as initially suspected. Still going to tread cautiously for now until we have a chance to read up on it and talk it over more.

Eh, there’s a difference as a 14 year old between "did I use too much thermal paste” and an algorithm designed to keep you hooked. 

 

I think if you want to keep kids safer on socials, they should ban advertisements for users under 21, including creators who get paid by third parties for their content. It’s not like they have any money to spend anyway. 

Dave is planning a candlelight vigil over this one

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4 hours ago, toolg said:

Get the kids a flip-phone.

I have more control over a smart phone. My daughter can't install any apps on her galaxy (I have it locked down), so it's not too bad. I also have it turn off at 9pm and it doesn't turn back on until 6:00am. I can also track her. Yes I am that parent and I do not apologize for it. I also told her she can't date until she gets her masters degree 😛

16 minutes ago, Gannan said:

I have more control over a smart phone. My daughter can't install any apps on her galaxy (I have it locked down), so it's not too bad. I also have it turn off at 9pm and it doesn't turn back on until 6:00am. I can also track her. Yes I am that parent and I do not apologize for it. I also told her she can't date until she gets her masters degree 😛

Do you use Life 360?

7 hours ago, Bill said:

Eh, the issue with Gen Z isn't which side of the aisle they're on, it's how far to the sides they went.  With Gen Z they diverged heavily among sexes.  So more or less Gen Zthey just ate up all the online propaganda that they're seeing cause their Gen X parents don't know how to parent.  Whereas the Boomers grew up and lived with very tightly edited news, so they assume everything they hear is fact, which led to them just eating up all the online propaganda that they're seeing as fact.

 

Gen Z sucks the worst, but Gen X doesn't get as much ish as they should be getting.  There's a reason everyone skips over them.

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57 minutes ago, Dave Moss said:

Do you use Life 360?

Family link. 

6 hours ago, vikas83 said:

LOL - no they aren't. Kids are morons. And this current generation doesn't improve when they become adults. 

Eh, kids have the same intelligence distribution as adults.

IOW there's a lot of dumb adults and a lot of dumb kids. But also plenty of smart ones.

There are teenaged friends of my kids who lack world experience but are still more intelligent than people I work with - some making way more money than they should.

4 hours ago, VanHammersly said:

Our almost 14 year old boy got one on his 12th birthday.  So he's had one for 2 years.  He looks at Tik Tok every once in a while but he's not really on any social media sites and doesn't care about it so it really doesn't worry me that much.  Most of what he does on there is just text groups with all his friends.  Our almost 9 year old girl has been asking when she's getting a phone for a few years now and since we got her brother one at 12 I guess 12 is when she'll get one.  But with a girl I'm way more worried.  Social media ruins girls in a way it doesn't boys.

My 15 year old has been around electronics his whole life. He has no social media accounts. Watches some YouTube but nothing crazy. (We have his viewing history)

He's also had a phone for a while. Oddly he has gone the other way: I can't ever get in touch with him on it and he barely uses it. 

The only thing I worry about is discord.

42 minutes ago, Gannan said:

Family link. 

Same.

3 hours ago, JohnSnowsHair said:

Eh, kids have the same intelligence distribution as adults.

IOW there's a lot of dumb adults and a lot of dumb kids. But also plenty of smart ones.

There are teenaged friends of my kids who lack world experience but are still more intelligent than people I work with - some making way more money than they should.

Kids are morons because, no matter their IQ, they have adolescent brains and a lack of real world experience. This makes them susceptible to misinformation, because they don’t have enough experience to be more skeptical. It’s why tricking kids is so friggin easy - the innocence of youth makes them gullible. 
 

Also, they aren’t taught anything useful in crap schools. And frankly, just like adults, about 95% are stupid. 

11 hours ago, Gannan said:

I have more control over a smart phone. My daughter can't install any apps on her galaxy (I have it locked down), so it's not too bad. I also have it turn off at 9pm and it doesn't turn back on until 6:00am. I can also track her. Yes I am that parent and I do not apologize for it. I also told her she can't date until she gets her masters degree 😛

Mine is 15 and i have been gradually relaxing the tech limitations. So long as she keeps her grades and out of trouble she gets more independence. Thankfully she realized that high school Boys are all idiots

16 hours ago, vikas83 said:

LOL - no they aren't. Kids are morons. And this current generation doesn't improve when they become adults. 

And people skip us gen x for two main reasons: small generation but primarily bc we ARE the skeptics that point out how dumb and gullible people are. Thats gets denied/ignored bc no one wants to hear it

7 hours ago, vikas83 said:

Kids are morons because, no matter their IQ, they have adolescent brains and a lack of real world experience. This makes them susceptible to misinformation, because they don’t have enough experience to be more skeptical. It’s why tricking kids is so friggin easy - the innocence of youth makes them gullible. 
 

Also, they aren’t taught anything useful in crap schools. And frankly, just like adults, about 95% are stupid. 

Ummm…my kids see right through the political nonsense and misinformation.  Sorry if your kids aren’t at that same level.  

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