June 18, 20205 yr On 6/16/2020 at 2:31 PM, greend said: Sorry about that my tourette's syndrome is acting up again, young super model just begging me to take the case of her missing... bag of hobo deeks
June 22, 20205 yr What a night, I thought to myself - I'll never drink six glasses of Chivas to wash down half a jug of Canadian Vicodin ever again; then, the cell phone goes off - and I don't recognize the number, yet I answer it, anyway....
June 22, 20205 yr 2 hours ago, GoRahGeorge said: What a night, I thought to myself - I'll never drink six glasses of Chivas to wash down half a jug of Canadian Vicodin ever again; then, the cell phone goes off - and I don't recognize the number, yet I answer it, anyway.... It's the Veterinarian finally getting back to me. I left that message a day or so ago, it's hard to remember through this fog of booze and Vicodin. Her voice sounds distant, but I hear her say that removing the two Raccoons is possible, and wants to know when I can get there. I tell her that...
June 22, 20205 yr 15 hours ago, PoconoDon said: It's the Veterinarian finally getting back to me. I left that message a day or so ago, it's hard to remember through this fog of booze and Vicodin. Her voice sounds distant, but I hear her say that removing the two Raccoons is possible, and wants to know when I can get there. I tell her that... I have not worn my suede pants in a long time but I will get them on and zipped up (at least most of the way) and get over there quicker than sausage goes through an eph. If only I had.............
June 23, 20205 yr Author On 6/22/2020 at 3:35 PM, greend said: I have not worn my suede pants in a long time but I will get them on and zipped up (at least most of the way) and get over there quicker than sausage goes through an eph. If only I had............. ...legs. For as handsome and as thrifty these suede pants are, without legs the pants go unnoticed. It’s been 4 years since "the incident”, and I still get phantom itches on legs that have been missing for years and a deep burning sensation on my......
June 24, 20205 yr 1 hour ago, hey suess said: ...legs. For as handsome and as thrifty these suede pants are, without legs the pants go unnoticed. It’s been 4 years since "the incident”, and I still get phantom itches on legs that have been missing for years and a deep burning sensation on my...... ....elephantiasis genitals. Despite the high quality suede pants that I wear with no legs, I can't help but think the excruciating burning that occurs on the outer portion of my disease ridden scrotum is leading me down an imaginary road that extends to my imaginary legs. If only I had listened to my best friend Karen 4 years ago and didn't enter the rhinoceros tipping contest in the Sahara, that burning sensation would be more than just a dark desire. But I digress.........for had she not called the manager that day I may have been..........
June 24, 20205 yr 28 minutes ago, hputenis said: ....elephantiasis genitals. Despite the high quality suede pants that I wear with no legs, I can't help but think the excruciating burning that occurs on the outer portion of my disease ridden scrotum is leading me down an imaginary road that extends to my imaginary legs. If only I had listened to my best friend Karen 4 years ago and didn't enter the rhinoceros tipping contest in the Sahara, that burning sensation would be more than just a dark desire. But I digress.........for had she not called the manager that day I may have been.......... ....walking around downtown on the prowl for a bag of hobo deeks....
June 24, 20205 yr 9 hours ago, 20dawk4life said: ....walking around downtown on the prowl for a bag of hobo deeks.... which since I seem to have a lack of imagination is all I can think of anymore, oh well that same lack of imagination will also hamper my ability to know what to do with them when I get them. Suddenly there is a knock on the door and I holler at the top of my lungs, what!?!? The door slowly opens to reveal.......................................
June 24, 20205 yr 4 hours ago, greend said: which since I seem to have a lack of imagination is all I can think of anymore, oh well that same lack of imagination will also hamper my ability to know what to do with them when I get them. Suddenly there is a knock on the door and I holler at the top of my lungs, what!?!? The door slowly opens to reveal....................................... 13 of the dirtiest, smelliest, disease-infested hobos in the city. They were angry.....but also had a look of hopelessness, similar to Theon Greyjoy. As my life flashed before my eyes, I realized one thing. Thank goodness for Jurassic Park 3, said no-one ever, but similar to the family of velociraptors that simply wanted their egg back........these homeless gentlemen wanted their deeks back. I'm not quite sure why, since there is no way to re-attach the phenus after a 24 hour time span, but alas.......I had to sacrifice my nap sack filled with hobo cranks despite their value on the black market. As I made the transfer, the skies turned dark. And just as I thought I was safe from danger.......
June 24, 20205 yr I realized that I had invited @bobeph to dinner and his stupendous girth was now blocking the sun, "oh crap" I said to myself as I realized I had just given back all of the hobo deeks. What was I going to serve him for appetizers now? I furious crawled back into my office and frantically started searching for anything to tide his royal immenseness over until I could call in an emergency air lift of.......................................................
June 24, 20205 yr The sound of the air raid sirens awoke me from my slumber. Blinking myself back into consciousness, I found myself in a dimly-lit room and securely fastened to a chair. I also discovered that I was naked, with potato-chip clips attached to my nipples.
June 30, 20205 yr Author ....she said. But her smokey eyes and pouty lips said otherwise. In fact, the only thing that she’s been picturing for a very long time, is nakedness. Her penchant for nude thoughts was apparent to her closest friends. They could always tell when the images were overpowering, she would use colorful font and write in numbered, nonsensical sentences. She fancied herself a news reporter, but everyone knew she was more than that. She was, after all, the very first woman to set foot on the.....
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