7 hours ago, paco said:

I kept going back and forth if I should reply. I didn't get married until my mid to late 30's, and it was with a woman from this board. I'll never pretend our story\dynamics are normal considering when we are having a conversation one of us will interject "YOUR FACE!!!" from time to time.

So I guess the first question you need to answer is to define what is "rough". Is it a matter of a fight that has both parties with their heels in, or, are you both just not jiving at all.

Maybe ask yourself if what you have is something you want to fight for? And does she feel like fighting too?

But if the root of it is a lack of communication... just suck it up and go to couples therapy. I'm a hypocrite even suggesting that (you would have to DRAG me to a shrink in most cases), but I will tell you that when we were going through the adoption process, we had to meet with a shrink to help us prepare for the challenges ahead. It was amazingly helpful. I wasn't a situation where you are telling them where you are at, being judged, and the told how you need to fix crap. It was, for at least me, an assessment of my mental state and guidance to help me with thinking about how to approach challenges I may have in front of me.

Sometimes if two people aren't talking it takes a neutral party to get the dialogue going.

21 minutes ago, HazletonEagle said:

My 2 cents are wrapped in spoiler tags. Or at least, I attempted to do so. You can skip over the part in the box if you want. The remaining beneath the box suggests that changes in long term relationships are expected. Its not really advice, or opinion. Some truths that may be a possible explanation for your "rough patch".

Short answer if you want to skip it all. No. Never been divorced or separated. With my wife since 2002. Married since 2009. My parents are married for over 40 years, but hell yes there are times they piss each other off.

I would say love doesnt run its course. It is eternal.

But thats me, and everyone is different.

There are couples who want to always be together. And there are couples who like doing their own thing. Those couples who like doing their own thing- I dont think thats love. Those people would probably tell me to shove it though...

In my mind, if you think it may have run its course, then I think you havent known love yet. But, you may think thats a ridiculous sentiment.

So.... I dont think we can give you the right answer. Its a very individual thing.

The way partners interact will change through the years. That is natural. Old couples can spend entire days together and hardly need to talk. Everything has been said. They already know... Everything each other likes, wants, thinks, and needs... They can hardly speak and their love is probably stronger than anything. Theyre not going to look and act like honeymooners. And yet, their bond is so strong, it can be fatal if broken (ie. one partner dies, the other soon dies of a broken heart).

If there is truly nothing she is doing wrong, or nothing you are doing wrong then maybe you are just entering a new phase of the relationship. Maybe you get busy with kids and dont have as much time together. You're running through life like sidekicks, dividing and conquering running here and there just checking things off a to do list and most of the things on there arent even for yourselves! Or maybe a family member is sick and their caretaking is a heavy burden distracting you or your partner from each other. Maybe the intimacy is fading because your sex hormone levels naturally arent going to be the same as when you were in your teens and 20s. Love language may change from physical touch, to little surprises and kind words with an occasional "date night". Maybe going through these phases can feel like a rough patch at first. But theyre natural, and only make you a stronger couple when you ride through the rough patches together. Just a thought.

Hope it all works out for the best for you.

Never thought I'd come to this board and see rational, thoughtful responses, but here we are. Good job guys.

And laces, I hope you guys work everything out. We're coming up on our 6 year next month, and all I can add is that marriage isn't easy, but it's worth it. I wish you guys the best

8 hours ago, BFit said:

Never thought I'd come to this board and see rational, thoughtful responses, but here we are. Good job guys.

And laces, I hope you guys work everything out. We're coming up on our 6 year next month, and all I can add is that marriage isn't easy, but it's worth it. I wish you guys the best

We are crushing it in here as adults, aren't we? Wow.

sometimes it just doesn't, Laces. I've been through two i believe i needed to fight for until i realized the only thing i was fighting was letting what i thought was grief go.

then i met the third (also from the board but not the same as Pacos....wait........no...no.) and came to understand not only what i wanted and needed but when the hard times in the relationship come, how to fight for the marriage and nothing else.

i don't think there are any female members, SINGLE female members left on the board in the WU. anyone willing to stand by and take one for the Lace's team if needed ?

bfit, you like the outdoors, right ?

Laces, you're on the right path to a conclusion of some sort, initiating a conversation outside of the refection in the mirror.

Thanks guys, appreciate the responses.

I'm 53, she's. 39. No kids. The timing never worked out for kids.

It's like we have become "roommates ", and not a Husband/Wife. No romance, we rarely do anything together, no vacations, etc. We only seem to just share a house, a dog, and bills to pay.

We should probably go talk/het some marriage therapy.

Thanks again.

37 minutes ago, LacesOut said:

It's like we have become "roommates ", and not a Husband/Wife. No romance, we rarely do anything together, no vacations, etc. We only seem to just share a house, a dog, and bills to pay.

is one of you concerned about how ''cold'' it is ?

5 hours ago, HazletonEagle said:

We are crushing it in here as adults, aren't we?

Speak for yourself, doodoo face.

6 hours ago, LacesOut said:

Thanks guys, appreciate the responses.

I'm 53, she's. 39. No kids. The timing never worked out for kids.

It's like we have become "roommates ", and not a Husband/Wife. No romance, we rarely do anything together, no vacations, etc. We only seem to just share a house, a dog, and bills to pay.

We should probably go talk/het some marriage therapy.

Thanks again.

The only thing I was going to offer (as an unmarried) -- that this post of yours negates the need for -- is that if you had kids, letting you know from experience that they would be just fine in the chance a divorce happens. Too many people stay together "for the kids", and other than this poosey arse generation that seems to be coming up now, children (historically) are quite resilient.

I've been staring at the boxes of gloves in a panic.

Which one will the doctor reach for?

Do they really need to put a fist on the box? ☹️

3 hours ago, Arthur Jackson said:

I've been staring at the boxes of gloves in a panic.

Which one will the doctor reach for?

Do they really need to put a fist on the box? ☹️

That's not the only box a fist is going in....

"You using the whole fist, doc?"

Fletch

Driving north on I85 near Lexington, NC a little while ago I realized that no one had passed heading south for about 5 minutes. Must be a really bad wreck to close the highway that far north. Then I got to the wreck. The car in the median looked like they tried to ram the White House gate. Every window was blown out except for the windshield. Many bullet holes through the windshield. Not sure what the folks in this car did yet but the NC State Highway Patrol took it very seriously. The highway was closed for another 15 miles beyond this.

3 hours ago, The_Omega said:

Driving north on I85 near Lexington, NC a little while ago I realized that no one had passed heading south for about 5 minutes. Must be a really bad wreck to close the highway that far north. Then I got to the wreck. The car in the median looked like they tried to ram the White House gate. Every window was blown out except for the windshield. Many bullet holes through the windshield. Not sure what the folks in this car did yet but the NC State Highway Patrol took it very seriously. The highway was closed for another 15 miles beyond this.

https://myfox8.com/news/north-carolina/piedmont-triad/interstate-85-south-closed-in-randolph-county-near-south-main-street/

9 minutes ago, Arthur Jackson said:

https://myfox8.com/news/north-carolina/piedmont-triad/interstate-85-south-closed-in-randolph-county-near-south-main-street/

Judging from the placement, and grouping of the bullet holes in the windshield, I’d be surprised if he makes it. Was kinda surprised they let us drive past the scene.

1 hour ago, wholesale_Melvin said:

I never went through a Jersey toll booth without thinking about this.

All of my Facebook friends post family pics, or memes, or Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, except for my Sister-in-law. She’s always posting pictures of missing kids and shelter pets, you know, actually trying to do some good. I respect the heck out of it, and her, but she’s making the rest of us look bad.

11 minutes ago, The_Omega said:

All of my Facebook friends post family pics, or memes, or Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, except for my Sister-in-law. She’s always posting pictures of missing kids and shelter pets, you know, actually trying to do some good. I respect the heck out of it, and her, but she’s making the rest of us look bad.

pics?

7 minutes ago, Arthur Jackson said:

pics?

4 minutes ago, The_Omega said:

hit

I'll stain that stained glass.

13 hours ago, The_Omega said:

All of my Facebook friends post family pics, or memes, or Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, except for my Sister-in-law. She’s always posting pictures of missing kids and shelter pets, you know, actually trying to do some good. I respect the heck out of it, and her, but she’s making the rest of us look bad.

or maybe she is subconsciously trying to get caught.

post on her FB and ask about the odd collection of little shoes she has.

I don't go personal on here usually but it turns out I have a kidney stone the size of a small dog.

Just found out and I thought you'd all be amused.

Good times ahead, I suppose. I love the Star Wars so maybe I have some laser action coming.

Nothing is worse than the stent afterwards.

I have had 2 stones, resulting in 2 surgeries on separate occasions. 2 stent stories.

First was an internal stent. For a week, I didnt know it was there. Fine! But to take it out was an in office procedure where they had to stick a scope up your pee hole to grab the stent and pull it out. While you are awake. They tell you it doesnt hurt. They tell you to relax. Its horrible. Literally I had nightmares after that.

The 2nd surgery, different doctor. I had a stent with an external wire. 1 week of absolute hell. It was like a very thick fishing wire that would ALWAYS be against your pants. ALWAYS unconfortable. I planned on working a day or 2 after my surgery like I did the first time. This time? I unexpectedly had to take vacation time for the entire week. I fee balled it in loose sweatpants, and did not leave my house that week. Torture 100% of every waking second. At the end of that week, you get to pull the stent out yourself at home! So you have mental anguish looking forward to that the whole week while you are experiencing the physical torture as well. When the time finally comes to yank it, you feel like you are in one of the saw movies. Such a cruel, cruel thing to make someone do (if youve never experienced it). The good bit of news at the end of this story is that it was actually very easy and not all that bad to pull out. But man was I psyched out about doing that. It took a long time to work up the courage.

In the end, there is no good kidney stone surgery because one way or the other, either type of stent is a nightmare to deal with.