November 13, 20205 yr Author Nothing at lunch. After work it was not bad enough to call the LL. So I put some water and Pine Sol in the tub and lit the candle and all is well. Right. The path to insanity continues.
November 14, 20205 yr Author Nice day. No smell really. Was cleaning and got maybe one whiff. Basement ok. Wtf. I’m not thinking about it anymore. When and if it comes back strong I’ll just pick up the phone and call LL or anyone I feel can help figure it out. So carrying on with other things. Still don’t feel good but I’m not down and out either. Changed the bed to flannels and cleaned behind dressers and such. Getting ready to pull out the couch-yikes! Covers to all those little pillows are in the dryer. I hate trying to fit that mangled matting back in them. That will be about it for me today. Too easy to get oneself overwhelmed and out of control in this horrid year. One day and one chore at a time. I feel a little less like setting the place on fire now and just go thru 35 yrs of stuff a little at a time. Almost half my basement table has stuff on it that’s going to the beach-but if I’m not hosting Eagles games or holidays, just take a deep breath cause it’s just going to be there until Spring. Sigh.
November 17, 20205 yr Author A BIG F YOU to the guy who ordered Mr. Di's gravestone and just called me to say the stone is set but the names are on the wrong side and what did I want to do? Are you f'ng kidding me? Did he really think I would accept this? In a Catholic cemetery there are (2) important things that I am aware of: 1. There's always a cross on the stone. 2. When a husband and wife are buried together the husband is on the right and wife on the left so when the end of days come and we rise up it will be the same as when we were standing at the alter beginning our life together. K, we didn't do a whole lot right in 35 years, I'd just like to think we can get it right in death! I was sort of looking forward to eternal life. Unbelievable. God help me, and have mercy on that poor man and those workers at the stone shop.
November 19, 20205 yr Author Went to the cemetery yesterday and sure as heck the names are on the wrong side of the stone. The decorations I had out there were just thrown to the side so I put them back. At least the foundation stone is in, new/correct slant top when finished will just go on top. I was worried about that since it will be the middle of winter when it's finished. Talked to my older brother last night. He's calling a buddy and they will be coming one day with a camera or other tools to locate the source of the sewer gas odor. It has been OK for days, but still every once in awhile it is present and never at a good time for me to call the LL. LL told me he is going away for Thanksgiving and will be heading to FL for the winter in mid Dec. He doesn't care. He left the tenants out back without a functional furnace for 4 days. He is the scum of the earth and I have cursed him. Edit to say a guy is coming over tomorrow morning! Lord willing he can figure it out.
November 19, 20205 yr RIP Jimmy. Heart attack while putting up Christmas decorations (in a mall) - called when the ambulance finally came. F 2020
November 21, 20205 yr Author I know I’m talking to myself here but if you are reading I do appreciate you all putting up with me. This is by far the worst. Harder then when I lost my parents. Mr Di was my rock after my Dad died and I had to leave home to stay with my Mother for awhile. I miss him. He could be a real pain in my butt but he solved problems I fear I am not able to. He was physically strong, yet he had some emotional damage from his childhood. We stuck it out. I was no prize either. Couple of guys were here early this morning and no odor, but I feel they are in and will help me. Unlike the LL. Trying not to worry about exposure to this virus. There will be a few folks here for Thanksgiving. I’ll do my best to have fresh air, spread out, all of it. Dinner will just be me and kids but in the morning til about noon will be a few family here. Both sides. I couldn’t say no. Maybe won’t be here all at the same time. I’m only working Tuesday and Wednesday next week so that’s less being around those people. Doing the best I can to carry on.
November 21, 20205 yr Author And when you’re feeling low, and you want to F everything, you get this. Love to see it! There’s hope.
November 24, 20205 yr Author Turkey in the brine. If I can pull this off it will be a miracle. I’d sooner crawl in a hole in a wall and die. F!
December 4, 20205 yr Author I've seen Trans Siberian O a few times in recent years. Usually lunch and the afternoon show. Good times! Obviously, no tour this horrid year, but their website says they are doing a live stream show of their most popular album: Christmas Eve and Other Stories on Dec., 18th. It's $30.-Guess they have to make money somehow.
December 4, 20205 yr 4 minutes ago, DiPros said: I've seen Trans Siberian O a few times in recent years. Usually lunch and the afternoon show. Good times! Obviously, no tour this horrid year, but their website says they are doing a live stream show of their most popular album: Christmas Eve and Other Stories on Dec., 18th. It's $30.-Guess they have to make money somehow. yeah...i'm seeing more & more artists doing this. the greatest band of modern times...evanescence...even did one last week & only charged 10 bucks.
December 4, 20205 yr 54 minutes ago, DiPros said: I've seen Trans Siberian O a few times in recent years. Usually lunch and the afternoon show. Good times! Obviously, no tour this horrid year, but their website says they are doing a live stream show of their most popular album: Christmas Eve and Other Stories on Dec., 18th. It's $30.-Guess they have to make money somehow. web touring is not a bad idea, maybe even better; other than cutting down on touring costs...instead of only fans in a REGION paying $30 for a live show at a venue that is limited to x amount of fans who can attend, you have access to fans across the globe with 0 touring costs and unlimited space for the amount of fans to attend. your IT is now your roadie, and who wants to F one of them ?
December 4, 20205 yr Author It's just not the same as live, but certainly fitting for this year. I broke out my CDs in the car today, so excuse me for being obsessed. I bought the sheet music to Wisdom of Snow to learn on the piano last year, but in my old age my patience is broken I shall try to remember how to read and play the damn song! I watched this one today too, one of my favorites. This you tube the performer got so emotional at the end he barely finished the piece. It's fitting for 2020 I think. Here's the lyrics: Back to a Reason, Part II Trans-Siberian Orchestra BACK TO A REASON (PART II)] Time Standing all alone I bled for you I wanted to Each drop my own Slowly they depart But fall in vain Like desert rain And still they fall on and on and on Got to get back to a reason Got to get back to a reason i once knew And this late in the seasons One by one distractions fade from view So Drifting through the dark The sympathy Of night's mercy Inside my heart Is your life the same? Do ghosts cry tears? Do they feel years? As time just goes on and on and on Got to get back to a reason Got to get back to a reason i once knew And this late in the seasons One by one distractions fade from view I'm looking for you I'm looking for i don't know what I can't see there anymore And all my time's been taken Is this what it seems? The lure of a dream And i'm afraid to walk back through that door To find that i've awakened The night seems to care The dreams in the air The snow's coming down It beckons me dare It whispers, it hopes It holds and confides And offers a bridge Across these divides The parts of my life I've tried to forget It's gathered each piece And carefully kept Somewhere in the dark Beyond all the cold There is a child That's part of my soul Got to get back to a reason Got to get back to a reason i once knew And this late in the seasons One by one distractions fade from view The only reason i have left is You Songwriters: Paul O'neill, John Oliva https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=you+tube+back+to+a+reason+pt+2&view=detail&mid=903BBB720DFC3795E49C903BBB720DFC3795E49C&FORM=VIRE0&ru=%2fsearch%3fq%3dyou%2btube%2bback%2bto%2ba%2breason%2bpt%2b2%26cvid%3d30d1b9122812485e917b84b3ff93df8c%26pglt%3d43%26FORM%3dANSPA1%26PC%3dU531
December 4, 20205 yr Author https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=tso+wells+fargo+center+philadelphia+pa&&view=detail&mid=5F0EA4748C02D94DDF595F0EA4748C02D94DDF59&rvsmid=5C8057526C26695D80FB5C8057526C26695D80FB&FORM=VDRVRV https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=tso+wells+fargo+center+philadelphia+pa&&view=detail&mid=E46FEE3EC16665C8104AE46FEE3EC16665C8104A&rvsmid=F071D952DFB4161B2214F071D952DFB4161B2214&FORM=VDRVRV It's just so much better live. It's an awesome show and can't wait to see another one maybe one day. These are from Wells Fargo Center. I was in awe from the performance.
December 8, 20205 yr Author I was off today. I stayed home. Haven’t spoke a word other than cussing to myself. When the odor came. It was gone within an hour. It’s fine now. If only I was. I will never get used to this. F
December 8, 20205 yr Author So I could reach out to a friend but it’s late and I won’t. I just endure this loneliness, and post on a message board. It’s so pointless. It’s so hard. I hope none of have to go through this anytime soon. It sucks. Bigly.
December 9, 20205 yr On 12/7/2020 at 10:51 PM, DiPros said: So I could reach out to a friend but it’s late and I won’t. I just endure this loneliness, and post on a message board. It’s so pointless. It’s so hard. I hope none of have to go through this anytime soon. It sucks. Bigly. Yes, it does. Go ahead and reach out - even if it is late. Chances are, they are as sleepless and messed up as the rest of us. I am amazed when I talk to people that I am not the only one sleeping poorly when I manage to sleep and being awake at 4am every day wondering why. This sucks. Bigly and double-bigly.
December 9, 20205 yr Author 33 minutes ago, Toastrel said: Yes, it does. Go ahead and reach out - even if it is late. Chances are, they are as sleepless and messed up as the rest of us. I am amazed when I talk to people that I am not the only one sleeping poorly when I manage to sleep and being awake at 4am every day wondering why. This sucks. Bigly and double-bigly. I know this doesn't work for everyone, but I can sometimes talk myself off the ledge to the pit of despair by thinking about peeps that have it much worse than I do. Last night I slept for a very long time. Must of needed it. Trudging forward today.
December 10, 20205 yr Author So last evening I first did a drive by at the cemetery to see if the solar lanterns I put on my parents and Mr. Di's graves last weekend were working. I don't mind taking care of this chore, it brings me much peace that I made the decision to purchase the plot. Even though the stone order got screwed up. It will be fixed soon. Both sides of our families are all in the same vicinity there. Don't mean to be morbid but a small photo is attached. There's always deer in the woods when I'm there. Arrived home and the sewer gas odor was present. Not knock you out, but enough. Opened the garage, the bathroom window, put water in the drains, lit the candles, and paced around until it was gone. Called the landlord who was driving to his FL home and was currently in South Carolina. He informed me that he gave his new plumber my number. I requested he call him again to make sure he calls me. During my pacing I also went to fetch the mail. Pissed there's another insurance claim for a consult fee from the radiation oncologist-from APRIL! Please make it stop. Received a Christmas card from my cousin which I took notice it was addressed to Mr. & Mrs. and the inside message said hope all is well. Uh oh, this family obviously was not informed of Mr. Di's passing. So, after I reached out to my co-worker whose family has covid, I called my cousin. She was on a zoom but called me back afterwards and we spoke for a good hour and a half. She is now a retired nurse with a few health issues herself. Her last years were spent working for a hospice. Needless to say, there went a bottle of chardonnay, a make shift filet of fish sandwich, and my relief valve went off until I finally went to sleep. I remain hopeful that I can and will take better care of myself. Once these holidays, and this screwy year are over I can maybe turn a corner. I pray for better acceptance and peace as I move through the rest of my days with whatever the good Lord will give me to handle. Peace out, thanks for listening to old Di once again. #F2020!
December 11, 20205 yr Author Tonight it’s a power outage. I think they’re working on something nearby. Saw trucks on y way home. Hope they’ll be done soon.
December 11, 20205 yr My 53 year old aunt died from cancer on October 27th. She was diagnosed on September 9th. This year can F right the F off.
December 11, 20205 yr 3 hours ago, What The F said: My 53 year old aunt died from cancer on October 27th. She was diagnosed on September 9th. This year can F right the F off. So sorry praying for your family. Cancer stinks!
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