July 9, 20223 yr 22 hours ago, Toastrel said: 0 What are all these willing adopters waiting for? This is literally one of the dumbest takes in the history of this forum and I post here. Do you understand how foster care works? The number #1 goal of the foster care system is to try to reunite families. When that can’t happen then the child is eligible for adoption. So of course you are going to have a bunch of kids in the system.
July 9, 20223 yr 25 minutes ago, Dave Moss said: Deal. Pregnant women can drive in the HOA lane if they'll stop murdering babies, great tradeoff.
July 9, 20223 yr 15 hours ago, paco said: This is literally one of the dumbest takes in the history of this forum and I post here. Do you understand how foster care works? The number #1 goal of the foster care system is to try to reunite families. When that can’t happen then the child is eligible for adoption. So of course you are going to have a bunch of kids in the system. I had a relative who fostered kids for a couple years. After hearing their horror stories, it surprises me that anyone fosters. They’ve since stopped fostering, but are helping those who decide to foster. Lots of crazy rules and just a ridiculous amount of time/effort to be approved. I can only imagine that adopting takes much more time/effort to be approved to adopt.
July 10, 20223 yr So White House is mulling using public health emergency declaration. Are they saying pregnancy is a disorder ? Public Health Emergency Declaration The Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) may, under section 319 of the Public Health Service (PHS) Act, determine that: a) a disease or disorder presents a public health emergency (PHE); or b) that a public health emergency, including significant outbreaks of infectious disease or bioterrorist attacks, otherwise exists. Duration and Notification: The declaration lasts for the duration of the emergency or 90 days, but may be extended by the Secretary. Congress must be notified of the declaration within 48 hours, and relevant agencies, including the Department of Homeland Security, Department of Justice, and Federal Bureau of Investigation, must be kept informed. Prior to issuing the declaration, the Secretary should consult with public health officials as necessary.
July 11, 20223 yr 8 minutes ago, Bacarty2 said: 1) foster care doesnt mean your waiting to be adopted. 2) for some reason adoption is EXTREMELY hard in America(which I dont get) Thats why you see a lot of adoptions from other countries. I have 2 cousins 25ish and 18. both Asian. My Aunt and Uncle, rich as F, great school district, educated, we're "too old" at the time. they were both mid 40s to adobt an American baby Just pointing this out to the 'we will adopt the babies crowds' There are lots of unadopted babies right now. Foster care were available as stats. Not sure if there is an adoption database.
July 11, 20223 yr 4 minutes ago, Bacarty2 said: Doesnt matter if you have 18 billion parents waiting to adopt 100 kids. If the rules, regulations, standards are outdated and antiquated who cares. Which only makes it worse. It just makes the 'we will adopt claims' even more dopey.
July 11, 20223 yr It is stupidly difficult to adopt in this country. It's understandable that there has to be some kind of vetting process, but I would bet that the levels of it are crazy because of fear of litigation.
July 11, 20223 yr On 7/9/2022 at 3:00 PM, RPeeteRules said: I had a relative who fostered kids for a couple years. After hearing their horror stories, it surprises me that anyone fosters. They’ve since stopped fostering, but are helping those who decide to foster. Lots of crazy rules and just a ridiculous amount of time/effort to be approved. I can only imagine that adopting takes much more time/effort to be approved to adopt. There is nothing fun about the adoption process.
July 11, 20223 yr 40 minutes ago, Toastrel said: Just pointing this out to the 'we will adopt the babies crowds' There are lots of unadopted babies right now. Foster care were available as stats. Not sure if there is an adoption database. So you are doubling down on being really f'n dumb. Bold move.
July 11, 20223 yr 26 minutes ago, JohnSnowsHair said: It is stupidly difficult to adopt in this country. It's understandable that there has to be some kind of vetting process, but I would bet that the levels of it are crazy because of fear of litigation. Litigation and abuse. Unfortunately there have been cases of sexual/physical abuse from adoption. Not a lot but enough to scare agencies into going through pretty extreme vetting processes. Definitely harder than it should be IMO given that foster care has an even higher risk of those issues though. The whole system is depressing overall. Success stories are really great but there are just too many awful things you see in between those and crazy amounts of red tape.
July 11, 20223 yr Just now, DEagle7 said: Litigation and abuse. Unfortunately there have been cases of sexual/physical abuse from adoption. Not a lot but enough to scare agencies into going through pretty extreme vetting processes. Definitely harder than it should be IMO given that foster care has an even higher risk of those issues though. The whole system is depressing overall. Success stories are really great but there are just too many awful things you see in between those. I also think though there has to be an understanding that there will be some awful things when you have a large population of adoptees. Statistically it's just going to happen, but we shouldn't paralyze the whole system out of fear of a low percentage of abusers. It's sad, but a more streamlined process that has a more reasonable level of vetting would help break the logjam and should be a net positive overall for those children who need to be adopted. And of course there's a time sensitive nature to this as older children are harder to find parents willing to adopt. The alternative is that kids are bouncing around foster homes, getting older and less likely to be adopted, while still being exposed to the same dangers an adoptive home may present.
July 11, 20223 yr 4 hours ago, JohnSnowsHair said: I also think though there has to be an understanding that there will be some awful things when you have a large population of adoptees. Statistically it's just going to happen, but we shouldn't paralyze the whole system out of fear of a low percentage of abusers. It's sad, but a more streamlined process that has a more reasonable level of vetting would help break the logjam and should be a net positive overall for those children who need to be adopted. And of course there's a time sensitive nature to this as older children are harder to find parents willing to adopt. The alternative is that kids are bouncing around foster homes, getting older and less likely to be adopted, while still being exposed to the same dangers an adoptive home may present. Speaking only toward about adoption (ignoring the terrible "point" that Toaster thinks he's making), there is a surplus of adoptive parents. When the pandemic hit, we thought "maybe this will work in our favor and there will be more eligible children" but the exact opposite occurred. People wern't going out to bars and making bad decisions and the cases dried up. When we submitted our profile for potential babies, it went from competing with a handful of potential parents to dozens. We were with both an agency as well as consultants and everyone told us they never saw it this sparse. Right now, if there is a logjam, its there are not enough kids for potential parents. But to your greater point, yes, the adoption process is long and painful.
July 11, 20223 yr 30 minutes ago, paco said: There is nothing fun about the adoption process. Or cheap.
July 11, 20223 yr Just now, Paul852 said: Or cheap. Nope. If it wasn't for tax credits and amazing benefits from my employer, we probably couldn't have afforded it.
July 11, 20223 yr 2 minutes ago, paco said: Nope. If it wasn't for tax credits and amazing benefits from my employer, we probably couldn't have afforded it. It's insane. Raising a child is expensive enough. Why it costs tens of thousands of dollars just to adopt the child in the first place is beyond me.
July 11, 20223 yr Just now, Paul852 said: It's insane. Raising a child is expensive enough. Why it costs tens of thousands of dollars just to adopt the child in the first place is beyond me. Legal fees Home studies (3 pre, monthly post) Background checks Lead generation fees Oh... and the little matter of supporting the birth mother financially until the baby is born. That last one makes sense, you want to make sure the birth mother is safe, eating well and going to the doctor to make sure the child is healthy. BUT its one of the biggest sources of fraud though the process. There is nothing stopping the mother from taking financial aid only to "change her mind" after the child is born, leaving the adoptive parents high and dry and needing to start all over again.
July 11, 20223 yr 1 minute ago, paco said: Legal fees Home studies (3 pre, monthly post) Background checks Lead generation fees Oh... and the little matter of supporting the birth mother financially until the baby is born. That last one makes sense, you want to make sure the birth mother is safe, eating well and going to the doctor to make sure the child is healthy. BUT its one of the biggest sources of fraud though the process. There is nothing stopping the mother from taking financial aid only to "change her mind" after the child is born, leaving the adoptive parents high and dry and needing to start all over again. Are any of those things partially government funded?
July 11, 20223 yr 1 minute ago, Paul852 said: Are any of those things partially government funded? I'm not sure I understand the question. But the only help we got from the govt was a tax credit. (which gets phased out at certain income levels) Everything I listed was out of our pocket.
July 11, 20223 yr 2 minutes ago, paco said: I'm not sure I understand the question. But the only help we got from the govt was a tax credit. (which gets phased out at certain income levels) Everything I listed was out of our pocket. Yeah, that's what I was getting at. That's the part I don't understand. Why does everything come out of your pocket for a child that will end up in foster care if you don't adopt?
July 11, 20223 yr 1 minute ago, Paul852 said: Yeah, that's what I was getting at. That's the part I don't understand. Why does everything come out of your pocket for a child that will end up in foster care if you don't adopt? Because there are more adoptive parents than potential kids. No need to incentivize it. 🤷♂️
July 11, 20223 yr 2 minutes ago, Paul852 said: Yeah, that's what I was getting at. That's the part I don't understand. Why does everything come out of your pocket for a child that will end up in foster care if you don't adopt? Sounds like communist talk to me But as Fed up as it is it's supply and demand. People are willing to pay that to get a baby.
July 11, 20223 yr 1 minute ago, paco said: Because there are more adoptive parents than potential kids. No need to incentivize it. 🤷♂️ I guess. Seems crazy to start off pouring all that money in.
July 11, 20223 yr 1 minute ago, Paul852 said: I guess. Seems crazy to start off pouring all that money in. It's not easy. Plus there is a lot of risk you take on. Maybe I'll get into it more in depth about it one day another day, but we experienced a disruption. Fortunately, the $$$ lost from it wasn't a huge amount and we were able to keep moving forward and eventually made our way to Ellie. One thing we did after we successfully placed was meet with other adoptive parents who recently experienced a disruption and shared our story\experience with them as a form of emotional support. It's heartbreaking when you hear some of these parents tell their stories, sinking in tens of thousands of dollars only for the birth mother to change her mind (her right) and have them wondering how they can possibly afford to continue.
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