Lane Johnson posts personal message about depression & anxiety, returning to the field soon

[NOTW]

46 minutes ago, XoqTionR said:

This is what my girlfriend does and been gone past 2 days. They also don't speak about loved ones and the anxiety they go through supporting them. I commend you cause I love her but not sure if I can deal with this anymore... should hear the voice mails I had at 6 am in morning today. Accusing me of not caring, when I'm not giving her crap about it and asking her to come home.

I would encourage you to both seek out counseling, and read up on anxiety, there's also Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) I just heard about recently, it's a condition that often goes along with ADHD.  While my wife doesn't have this, I read up on it when I heard about it.  Basically, trauma from being rejected previously causes anxiety and concern over being rejected, and needing more than usual reassurance.

We'll be married 15 years in March, it's not easy to be with someone who suffers from a MH (mental health) issue.  It takes patience, thick skin and realizing that often times it feels unfair, and you have to be very supportive, and a rock for her to lean on.

[Bwestbrook36]

6 minutes ago, NOTW said:

I would encourage you to both seek out counseling, and read up on anxiety, there's also Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) I just heard about recently, it's a condition that often goes along with ADHD.  While my wife doesn't have this, I read up on it when I heard about it.  Basically, trauma from being rejected previously causes anxiety and concern over being rejected, and needing more than usual reassurance.

We'll be married 15 years in March, it's not easy to be with someone who suffers from a MH (mental health) issue.  It takes patience, thick skin and realizing that often times it feels unfair, and you have to be very supportive, and a rock for her to lean on.

I was actually coming here to post something like this. I've never really had anxiety issues from the ADHD or the bipolar.

As I've gotten older and have been through more things and experiences I've developed really bad anxiety centered around relationships and job related tasks. I'm wondering if this is the issue? 

 

 

 

[NOTW]

7 minutes ago, Bwestbrook36 said:

I was actually coming here to post something like this. I've never really had anxiety issues from the ADHD or the bipolar.

As I've gotten older and have been through more things and experiences I've developed really bad anxiety centered around relationships and job related tasks. I'm wondering if this is the issue? 

 

 

 

Sometimes it can be temporary and brought on by circumstances. 

[time2rock]

1 hour ago, NOTW said:

We'll be married 15 years in March, it's not easy to be with someone who suffers from a MH (mental health) issue.  It takes patience, thick skin and realizing that often times it feels unfair, and you have to be very supportive, and a rock for her to lean on.

Now I understand how my wife feels!  

On a serious note, I can completely relate to that.  It certainly makes life much more challenging. But I always feel that maybe my higher purpose from the man above is to help her.  

[pallidrone]

15 hours ago, Bwestbrook36 said:

I was actually coming here to post something like this. I've never really had anxiety issues from the ADHD or the bipolar.

As I've gotten older and have been through more things and experiences I've developed really bad anxiety centered around relationships and job related tasks. I'm wondering if this is the issue? 

I am notorious for just cutting bait and running. Instead of dealing with issues, I would rather say screw this and just walk away from things. I haven't spoken to my mother in 26 years and I haven't seen some of my family in even more time. I wasn't even speaking to my father at the time he passed away either and there was no reason for my not to speak to him other then inconvenience.

I thought for the longest time that this was a strength, the ability to just bottle up all this sadness, rage and hatred instead push it down and never think about it again. As I got older I started to develop a lot of anxiety over silly things in life. I would have issues talking to people because I was afraid they would take something the wrong way or look down on me. I would not get things done because they were not perfect and if they were not perfect then people would reject that. I was afraid of getting into actual physical altercations over words so I avoided talking to people about real things and boiled things down to just nonsense everyday conversation. I was really afraid that if it was so easy for me to drop people like a bad habit, then people can easily do the same for me, so I consistently lived my life on eggshells.

So instead of dealing with my issues, I buried my head into work.  Since I was a developer by trade, it was easy for me to bury myself into that, even though I had moved up into management and should have been dealing with bigger things instead. Software development can be a singular task if you want to make it that way, which is what I did and since I was very good at it, it was easy to hide everything from everyone.

My life became work and drinking, work and drinking. It was destroying my relationships at home and caused me to make awful decisions, like driving home drunk and waking up the next morning not remembering how I got home.

I stopped drinking and my anxiety grew ten fold from there. Inside I could barely function as a human being, but outside I was able to hide it from everyone that I was not around all the time. 2020 was a blessing because I was stuck at home with my family and it became obvious to them that something was completely off as I was not able to hide it 24 hours a day. I became a complete mess of emotions all the time. I could go from angry to a sobbing mess to making a joke in a split second. I was able to control it so much better when I was younger, but I couldn't anymore and it became obvious that something was off. It was like my ability to control this eroded over time.

Even with that I still thought nothing was wrong. It wasn't until I was really threatened with losing my family and everything that I decided to get help and even with that took a bit. I was ready to cut bait and run, but decided that I am too old for this and did not want to start over again.

I am thankful for hitting the bottom of that barrel. I feel so much better today then I have in a long, long time. Like I can not describe how nice it is not to have so many scrambled thoughts going through my mind all at the same time. It is like my mind is finally at peace with itself.

I was really good at hiding this for so long. As I tell people about my condition and what I am going through, most of them are in shock that this is a problem for me.

[Bwestbrook36]

33 minutes ago, pallidrone said:

I was really good at hiding this for so long. As I tell people about my condition and what I am going through, most of them are in shock that this is a problem for me.

Literally everything you said I've gone through and like I said anxiety is becoming a problem now more then it ever has. It's like I developed some new issues that I'm currently trying to work my way through. 

I've been to afraid of moving up higher in my work because I don't think I can handle all of the people and complaints. It's hard enough for normal people to deal with all the different people in retail the way it is. I don't know how well I could handle actually running a whole store. My bosses didn't even know I had mental health issues until I brought it up when they wanted to see if I wanted to move up. 

I actually left my job for 4 months with covid and everything else working in retail my mental health went to absolute sheet. I'm back now but, in a role not as demanding as my last one. So I'm trying to ease my way back into it. I'm slowly gaining my confidence back and dealing with people better then I was 4months ago. My anxiety goes off the charts though. 

I quit smoking and drinking to help my cause. Drinking especially turns me into someone I'm not proud of. Like you I also got black out drunk and drove home and didn't remember it. I would have dreams that I smashed my car driving home drunk and would wake up in a panic and drenched in sweat thinking those dreams were real. 

[NOTW]

Siri in a live PC right now, said a little earlier that Lane is good to go and will start at RT this Sunday.

[Big___Al]

On 10/18/2021 at 4:40 PM, XoqTionR said:

I bet you, just like me still went to work every day. I lost my job of 23 years and starting over at 47. Getting paid peanuts now, but still work every day. My girlfriend of 6 years is bi polar and works everyday. Hopefully doesn't turn into Shawn Andrew's situation. 

I made a similar comment on the Inquirer website last year, about Bryce Harper taking three games off for "paternity leave," when we still had a shot at the playoffs. Banned for life! I don't understand our society any more.

[flyerdog]

On 10/21/2021 at 5:41 PM, NOTW said:

I would encourage you to both seek out counseling, and read up on anxiety, there's also Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) I just heard about recently, it's a condition that often goes along with ADHD.  While my wife doesn't have this, I read up on it when I heard about it.  Basically, trauma from being rejected previously causes anxiety and concern over being rejected, and needing more than usual reassurance.

We'll be married 15 years in March, it's not easy to be with someone who suffers from a MH (mental health) issue.  It takes patience, thick skin and realizing that often times it feels unfair, and you have to be very supportive, and a rock for her to lean on.

well said my friend...I was married to someone with severe BPD with psychotic tendencies for 8 years..she nearly drowned once because she stopped taking one of her meds and her mind convinced her that taking a swim in a local lake mid-February was a good idea....naturally at first they thought it was a suicide attempt, but after the Psychiatrist interviewed her he realized it was because she had stopped her meds...

suffice to say it was a challenge, nearly everyday...and yeah there is such a thing as caregiver burnout..at times I got to a place where I just shut down and became extremely apathetic...it was not deliberate...but did happen...we divorced because, I think we both realized that the day to day challenges were just too much..and she needed time to "find herself" and right her ship before she could ever be in a mutual relationship...

to this day we are good friends, and in many ways we are closer than we were when we were married. 

 

[MIRV Griffen]

On 10/21/2021 at 3:52 PM, XoqTionR said:

This is what my girlfriend does and been gone past 2 days. They also don't speak about loved ones and the anxiety they go through supporting them. I commend you cause I love her but not sure if I can deal with this anymore... should hear the voice mails I had at 6 am in morning today. Accusing me of not caring, when I'm not giving her crap about it and asking her to come home.

It’s extremely tough.  In our case, her symptom set didn’t manifest as it is now until she gave birth to our second kid.  Then it suddenly became a non-stop deluge of complaining about all of the problems in her life, our house, etc, with me as the point of blame for all of it.  I felt like the worst husband ever because she was so unhappy and nothing I did seemed to help.  

What you find out when you realize you’re  dealing with kind of mood disorder is that nothing will help.  It becomes a sliding line of requirements from the affected individual, and every time you do something to address a complaint, they simply find something else to be unhappy about and make it your responsibility to fix it for them.  It’s endless and exhausting until they seek help.  At its worst, I dreaded hearing the door open when she got home, living in a constant state of "what’s the rant going to be about today”.

Once my wife got on Wellbutrin, it was like a miracle.  Her entire demeanor got back to the woman I married and I loved spending time with her.  She was genuinely happy and personable again.  

The problem was, after less than a year, the drug fizzled out and she fell off a cliff again in a bad way.  It’s been 6 months and she’s refused to try a new medication (because again, everything is my fault, and if I just changed what I do and how I act, she wouldn’t need medication…same old song) until very recently.  Even now, she’s dragging her feet getting back to the doc.  She’s extremely stubborn and never wants to admit fault in anything, and my guess is that if the new medication makes her better, it’s proof positive that I wasn’t the problem - her illness once again was.  She has a hard time stomaching stuff like that.

 

[flyerdog]

9 minutes ago, MIRV Griffen said:

It’s extremely tough.  In our case, her symptom set didn’t manifest as it is now until she gave birth to our second kid.  Then it suddenly became a non-stop deluge of complaining about all of the problems in her life, our house, etc, with me as the point of blame for all of it.  I felt like the worst husband ever because she was so unhappy and nothing I did seemed to help.  

What you find out when you realize you’re  dealing with kind of mood disorder is that nothing will help.  It becomes a sliding line of requirements from the affected individual, and every time you do something to address a complaint, they simply find something else to be unhappy about and make it your responsibility to fix it for them.  It’s endless and exhausting until they seek help.  At its worst, I dreaded hearing the door open when she got home, living in a constant state of "what’s the rant going to be about today”.

Once my wife got on Wellbutrin, it was like a miracle.  Her entire demeanor got back to the woman I married and I loved spending time with her.  She was genuinely happy and personable again.  

The problem was, after less than a year, the drug fizzled out and she fell off a cliff again in a bad way.  It’s been 6 months and she’s refused to try a new medication (because again, everything is my fault, and if I just changed what I do and how I act, she wouldn’t need medication…same old song) until very recently.  Even now, she’s dragging her feet getting back to the doc.  She’s extremely stubborn and never wants to admit fault in anything, and my guess is that if the new medication makes her better, it’s proof positive that I wasn’t the problem - her illness once again was.  She has a hard time stomaching stuff like that.

 

and you raise an important point...BPD does not discriminate...it affects, young, old, across race and ethnicity, social class, rich, poor,...everything...so it kind of bugs me when a multi-million dollar athlete expresses their battle with it and needs some time..and people just say "he's a multi-millionaire athlete...he should just suck it up..." 

people forget that people with BPD don't want to feel that way...they WANT to be "normal" like everyone else...but the electro-chemical imbalance in their brains won't let them....and when you are in a depressed state, NOTHING brings you joy, nothing motivates you..doesn't matter what your profession is, or how much you make...

[Bwestbrook36]

48 minutes ago, flyerdog said:

and you raise an important point...BPD does not discriminate...it affects, young, old, across race and ethnicity, social class, rich, poor,...everything...so it kind of bugs me when a multi-million dollar athlete expresses their battle with it and needs some time..and people just say "he's a multi-millionaire athlete...he should just suck it up..." 

people forget that people with BPD don't want to feel that way...they WANT to be "normal" like everyone else...but the electro-chemical imbalance in their brains won't let them....and when you are in a depressed state, NOTHING brings you joy, nothing motivates you..doesn't matter what your profession is, or how much you make...

Great post and so true. I literally do not know what it's like to be truly happy. I have moments where I laugh and have a good time but, it fades quickly and then I try something else to feel any kind of happiness but it's never lasting and I absolutely hate it. I get bored and lose interest in stuff so fast. I intentionally burn things down to get the thrill of building them back up again. It's a vicious cycle that I can't ever get out of

[Big___Al]

You guys are all *amazing* me. I can't believe us tough guys are talking about a subject like this on an Iggles site. I'm all for it btw, and didn't realize the extent of these problems. God help us all.

[Uscg-green]

If I was on this team I'd be depressed too. 

[Outlaw]

5 hours ago, Uscg-green said:

If I was on this team I'd be depressed too. 

Probably why Lane took himself out tonight. 

[CheesesteakNBeer]

8 hours ago, Outlaw said:

Probably why Lane took himself out tonight. 

There was reports he got stepped on. Came out for precautionary reasons since it was on his surgically repaired ankle.

[Outlaw]

22 minutes ago, CheesesteakNBeer said:

There was reports he got stepped on. Came out for precautionary reasons since it was on his surgically repaired ankle.

Just tongue in cheek that watching the team around him forced him to pull out.

[Mike030270]

So was it the same ankle that he had surgery on?

[Uscg-green]

This whole team is depressing..

[Godfather]

I'd have depression too if I had to block for a piece of trash under center 

[Kz!]

36 minutes ago, Godfather said:

I'd have depression too if I had to block for a piece of trash under center 

What'd he do?

[Godfather]

1 minute ago, Kz! said:

What'd he do?

He sucks

[Kz!]

2 minutes ago, Godfather said:

He sucks

 

"Piece of trash" though? Seems harsh. 

[Godfather]

Just now, Kz! said:

 

"Piece of trash" though? Seems harsh. 

Really? I'm sure he's been called worse lol

[XoqTionR]

On 10/21/2021 at 4:41 PM, NOTW said:

I would encourage you to both seek out counseling, and read up on anxiety, there's also Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) I just heard about recently, it's a condition that often goes along with ADHD.  While my wife doesn't have this, I read up on it when I heard about it.  Basically, trauma from being rejected previously causes anxiety and concern over being rejected, and needing more than usual reassurance.

We'll be married 15 years in March, it's not easy to be with someone who suffers from a MH (mental health) issue.  It takes patience, thick skin and realizing that often times it feels unfair, and you have to be very supportive, and a rock for her to lean on.

Well she came back Friday.  Immediately wanted to start cleaning. She starts one area, moves to another and never finish it. I have to have think skin and not be upset she ran of for 2 day's. I have to let a lot of nasty things she's says to me slide as well. When it's good it's good, but when it's bad it's bad. Glad she's home though.